Is It Easy for a Marine to Find a Gf
Started dating 6/16/08, both from Connecticut, and living in Virginia and North Carolina during school (me and Gabe respectively) and right now I'm in CT while he's deployed and will be headed back to VA at the end of summer. He is a Marine and I am a sophomore at James Madison University. He is my best friend.
Gabe and I have been dating for a year, and I never thought we would come this far, I had envisioned us a summer fling. We met at a Tom Petty concert last spring when I was just about to graduate my senior year of high school, and he was home from his first deployment to Iraq. He called me (he left an adorable voicemail that I got while at a dance recital) and I was so nervous! He is from a town near mine, but it seems pretty sketchy in comparison to where I grew up so I googled him and checked in with people from that town who might have known him, to make sure it was safe. Suffice it to say, it was rough getting to know each other from 12 hours away from each other and a couple of visits over the summer, but when I moved down South for school our relationship grew more than I ever expected it to. He drove the 6 hours to my school almost every weekend all year to see me and meet my co-ed service fraternity.
He was deployed relatively recently, and as I drove the 14 hours home on about 3 hours of sleep, I was a wreck and our song came on the radio (Patience – Guns and Roses) and I got Burger King and I had no one to shoot my straw at; it's pretty hard to be without someone who's your best friend and lover so suddenly, even if you had months to prepare for it in your mind.
I wake up each morning with the last shirt he wore, before he got on the bus, in bed with me, my cell phone right near my ear; praying for it to wake me up late at night just to hear his voice. As soon as I'm conscious I open my computer hoping for an email or two; for a while they were consistent, but now it's dropped off to a lot fewer. I drag my phone with my everywhere. I'm always worried I will miss his phone call because I missed the first attempt he made while I was at work (I am a manager at a little girl's clothing store, Justice, or formerly known as Limited Too).
Monday mornings, I drop my weekly snail mail letter in the mailbox on my way out. I park on the side of the road near my mail box on a hill, pray that my emergency brake holds, and shove the letter in the box and fling the flag up and hope that someday it might reach him. I've taken to sending funny cards, one of the most recent ones said, "I miss spooning with you," on the outside, and on the in, "uh, well, forking too." It was really cute.
So now, I shower with my cell phone right outside, bring it to Pilates class, where this morning I heard it ringing while we were in our Zen modes and I snapped right out of it to see "unknown" appear and a voicemail. It called back and I ran out of the studio into the hall of my gym and answered. All I could here was a garbled voice (damn those satellite phones) and, "can I call you at home?? I love you." I'm yelling, and making a scene at the gym, "I'm not home!! I'm at the gym!! I'll be home in a half an hour!!" He was gone. That's the worst feeling ever.
I want to be able to share everything with Gabe, but I can't because he's gone. By the time I finish the last 5 minutes of Pilates and try to resume breathing at a "Zen" pace (which is pretty impossible at this point) I run out of the gym, to my car, and swear through the traffic all the way home. But this time it's mid-morning and I've already had enough Gabe-induced stress, but the rest of the day is filled with being constantly on edge waiting for the phone to ring because it sounded like he said, "Okay – an hour," back when I told him when I'd be home. I skipped cardio to hear from him!! But, unfortunately, like most times I sit around waiting for him to call again, it is an epic fail and I don't hear from him.
It's approaching noon and I'm putting off showering, just in case the phone rings while I'm occupied. Although my mom works from home, I can't guarantee she'd be able to catch it and get me from the shower. I check and re-check my email. I'm tired since a phone call at 3AM woke me up the other night, and sent me into stomach-churning mode, when I'd say, "Hello?" and the (damn) satellite phone would drop the call.
I finally give up waiting around 12:30 pm, and hop in the shower, but I still put both phones on the bath mat outside of the shower. I'm pretty pathetic. I start getting ready for work, and can't help but gravitate to a tank top and Gabe's Marine Corps sweatshirt, my worn in, pocket torn, first thing he ever gave me sweatshirt, however that is not appropriate for Justice, Just for Girls. I finally find an appropriate outfit and check my email again.
I tend to re-read emails as well. One favorite begins,
"first off i have to start be telling you something in complete confidence that you won't think anything less of me after this… you ready for it… i totes missed you so bad last night i had to cuddle with your teddy to fall asleep last night… yeah go ahead keep laughing cuz i know you are and your probably saying something like i knew you would like it even if you thought it was corny. but yeah i did and i even set my alarm 10 min before everyone else woke up so i could get up and hide it before anyone saw but it failed cuz i slept right through the alarm and got made fun of but it's ok…"
Finally today, as crazily as I check my email, I got a short one back, and it barely said anything, which happens almost every day, which is the hardest part, I miss the responses and the advice that I get from him when he's here. Today's note says that he still hasn't gotten the package I sent more than 2 weeks ago, which is slightly upsetting since I spent a fair amount of money (a couple of DVDS, his favorite candy, stamps/envelopes/paper, a picture, shipping) and it still hasn't gotten to him!
When I'm finally on the way out the door to work, I write down my work number on the counter and ask my dad, "If Gabe calls, can you give him this number please?" Even though I very well know that he probably won't call since I have NO IDEA what time it is or where he is. The hardest part of missing him is that my life doesn't stop, and I just miss him so much sometimes: When I see motorcycles (I crashed and basically totaled his) and the small crack in the bumper of my car where he backed into my Aunt and Uncle's SUV at Christmas and left a HUGE dent in their car but a tiny crack in mine, and I took the blame (but now we're even in accidents so I guess it's okay). I wear his dog tag around my neck on a chain he gave me at Christmastime that was originally for this beautiful stone he set for me, but I broke it, but I feel closer to him with the dog tag around my neck. As I write this I am wearing my USMC sweatpants and his hoodie, I keep the empty bottle from the wine from our first Valentine's Day on a shelf in my room, and pictures of us are everywhere.
Usually during afternoons I'm at work, but on my break I'll get some fast food (usually McDonald's) and order 2 dollar menu 4-piece chicken nuggets because he taught me it was cheaper and he's the only one who will eat fast food, or steak with me, most of my friends are vegans, or really against processed fast food). I can't get through a shift without mentioning him, but usually my co-workers ask, "Have you heard from Gabe recently?" although they know they probably would already have heard about it if I had.
When I get home from work around 9pm, I'll usually immediately check my email, and if I have plans, hope to be distracted for the evening (while secretly praying that I'm not going somewhere that I won't have cell phone service) because all I honestly want to do is hear from my goofy, doofus of a Marine. When I am finally home for the night and settled in, before I go to bed I always write one goodnight email to tell him about what happened during the day or things that reminded me of him, and of course, how much I miss him. He is my best friend and it's really hard to be without him, especially during the summer, when I can't even hear his voice. We're missing our anniversary (which is totally not a big deal, but also kind of cool, but sad to miss) and my 19th birthday and his 22nd birthday, and probably Thanksgiving, and I'm praying that we're not missing Christmas this year too.
As I turn in from another day without him, I crawl into my too-big-for-one-person (brand new) bed that I sleep in every night, where his side hasn't even touched and I find his shirt and say goodnight in my head, hoping subconsciously he can feel it. I try to think about him hard enough that I can conjure him up in a dream, which occasionally happens, and it's so disappointing to wake up from, but very nice while you're dreaming. My days apparently seem very devoted to Gabe, but I promise it's not as pathetic as it seems, this was just based off of today! Which happened to involve actual phone call stress, which turned into nothing in the long run like it usually does. =[ Which is kind of a bummer.
Emily
Source: https://www.lovingfromadistance.com/military-ldrs/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-us-marine-girlfriend/
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